Where do coffee babies come from?

October 2, 2020
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<Coffee for the Average Josh, Part 1 of 10>

Before Mr. Coffee drip-dropped this morning’s pot, or your favorite barista handed you your latte …  

Before 12-ounce bags stocked grocery shelves, or your local roaster supplied the neighborhood drive-thru …

Before the beans were roasted brown or even came to town …

Where do coffee babies come from?

When we are wide-eyed and just entering the world of coffee, it’s a question we seldom ask. Maybe hot dogs taught us not to meddle in origin stories.

So we sip along in blissful naivete. For all we know, the Great Coffee Stork visits expectant baristas each morning, pecking at the drive-thru window with a bag tagged “Joe.” (Unfold the bundle and — voilà! — a piping-hot, ready-to-pour pot.)

As with most stork fables, the truth is a bit seedier — as in coffee seeds (or beans) that gestate hundreds of miles from your café inside the cherry of a cantankerous plant.

Arabica, Robusta and their 120 (mostly Madagascan) cousins

The brown-black brew we enjoy today is part of a genus of flowering plants called coffea. Grown in tropical climates, only two of the 120-plus coffea species have truly been commoditized. (True story: Most of the rest can only be found in the wilds of Madagascar, where a giraffe named Melman and a zebra named Marty are still working on preparing them for market.)

Let’s focus on the two that may have actually made their way into your mug:

1. Coffea Arabica (aka the Spoiled Diva)

This fussy tree boasts a thin trunk with lots of branches to support blossoms and fruit. It only grows at elevated altitudes, is susceptible to getting the sniffles, and expects to be treated like a fragile heirloom. And we oblige! People fawn over Princess Arabica. The beans she produces are used for the most sought-after brews in the world and are why you’ll often hear coffee marketers boast, “100% Arabica.”

2. Coffea Canephora (aka the Hardy Peasant Boy)

This species is better known by its nickname, “Robusta,” a term that reflects its greater resiliency. It yields more coffee for cheaper, is resistant to pests and disease, and grows in lower altitudes and higher temperatures. It’s also known for its distinctive “kick,” described as “eww bitter,” “burnt rubber,” or “smells like potatoes,” depending on your favorite internet commentator. Also part of that kick: Up to twice the caffeine as Arabica, making it the favorite of late-night diners and early-morning instant coffee (which typically is Robusta — plus just enough Arabica to take the edge off).

Left to my own mnemonic devices, this is how I keep the two straight:

  • Arabica Cadabica — tastes like magic.
  • Robusta Combusta — tastes likes scorched earth.

But before we deliver an elitist snub to Robusta, we would do well to trace some lineage. A March 2020 article in “Nature Research Journal” links Arabica’s genetic roots to a single plant. This “parent” plant is itself the result of a “speciation event” (science talk for when plants … you know …) between coffea eugenioides and coffea canephora (Robusta).

That’s right, our hardy peasant boy has been unmasked as a long-lost leading man, with every right to return every Arabica coffee snob’s taunt with a simple retort: “Who’s your daddy?”

Next: Growing up on the farm

This is the first in a 10-part series, “Coffee for the Average Josh,” releasing Fridays this fall. Get your fix of Coffee 101 by signing up to receive an email when the next post drops.  

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What’s the difference: cappuccino, latte, mocha, americano?

November 13, 2020
2

Touring four staples of the American espresso menu

<Coffee for the Average Josh, Part 7 of 10>

What’s the right way to make a cappuccino? What is the proper ratio of espresso to milk to foam? Should it include a dusting of cinnamon or chocolate powder? Is a proper cappuccino wet or dry?

Cue Magic 8 Ball: “Reply hazy.”

You may as well ask me the right way to make a chocolate chip cookie. (It’s my wife’s recipe, and my youngest daughter nearly has it mastered, too.)

But while the “right” way is open to interpretation, a basic definition can help when touring four pillars of most American espresso menus: the cappuccino, latte, mocha and americano.

Cappuccino

What is it

Espresso topped by steamed milk topped by a thick layer of milk foam.

Trivia trio

  1. Monk business: Cappuccino takes its name from the Capuchin friars of Italy. When the drink was introduced in Italy, people thought the color of the espresso mixed with frothed milk looked similar to the color of a Capuchin robe. Note these same monks were so famous for their color scheme, when a species of similarly shaded primates were discovered in Central America they were dubbed “capuchin monkeys.”
  2. Wet vs. dry: The baseline for a traditional cappuccino is usually understood to include the milk and foam in equal quantities. Want more foam and less milk in the middle? Order your cappuccino dry. Want less foam and more milk? Order it wet, though some will argue you are elbowing into latte territory at this point.
  3. Sweet venti lies: A traditional cappuccino is known for a strong espresso flavor and for reasonably equal parts of milk and foam. Because of this, a cappuccino traditionalist will tell you that the idea of a 20-ounce cappuccino (or really anything much more than 8 ounces), is laughable. Why? The larger the drink, the more milk required, which dilutes the strength of the taste and makes achieving even ratios impossible. (Making the “microfoam” in large quantities is either a) impossible or b) requires ridiculous amounts of milk, depending on who you ask.)

Latte

What is it

Espresso topped by a generous amount of steamed milk topped by a thin layer of milk foam.

Trivia trio

  1. Gateway drug: Lattes are famously creamy. Indeed, espresso is such an intense coffee experience that when it first migrated out of Italy, foreigners found it bitter so they sweetened it with generous ratios of hot milk. The latte was born, and we are still experimenting with the right ratios of espresso dilution to this day. For many, this not only includes milk but a litany of syrups.
  2. Don’t order in Italy: When in Rome, be sure to order a “caffe latte.” Make the mistake of ordering just a latte, and the waiter will bring you a glass of milk. (“Latte” means milk in Italian. In a pinch, though, I think “Oreo” still means Oreo.)
  3. Not black and (flat) white: Want to add a layer of interpretation to the difference between a cappuccino and a latte? Done. The extra layer is called a flat white. The anecdotal origins of the flat white go back to Australians and Kiwis feeling ripped off by all the foam they were being served on their cappuccinos. Instead of a cup filled with “air,” they wanted it filled to the top with the foam chopped off — a flat, white coffee of espresso and milk. Thus, the flat white sounds very much like an Australian latte. Perhaps, but if you need to differentiate, here are two ways: 1) the foam on top may be even flatter in a flat white; 2) the drink typically features a stronger coffee flavor than a latte, gained by using a higher ratio of espresso to milk and/or ristretto shots.  

Mocha

What is it

Espresso topped by steamed milk, milk foam, and chocolate (ooh, and maybe whipped cream!)

Trivia trio

  1. Cuckoo for cocoa: A mocha is a latte with chocolate, but from here the recipe diverts a million ways: varieties of chocolate from white to dark, forms of chocolate from syrup to powder, quantities of chocolate from chunks to dusting.
  2. Mocha vs. Mokha vs. Moka vs. Moca vs. Mocca: The word “mocha” first got mixed up with coffee not thanks to chocolate, but thanks to a port in Yemen. A Yemeni bean exported out of the Port of Mokha came to be referred to as mocha coffee. This coffee became so popular that many people took to calling coffee “mocha” the way some people call it joe. But the confusion was just getting started. In the 1930s, an Italian inventor came up with a new pot for brewing coffee and called it Moka (after this same port, by all indications). So it naturally follows that today, most American consumers only know the word mocha as referring to chocolatey coffee. Say what?
  3. So … about the chocolate: OK, so there are a couple possibilities as to how mocha became associated with chocolate. The first is that the Yemeni mocha bean wasn’t as fruity or floral as coffee from other regions and was more likely described as earthy — even “chocolatey.” At least that makes some sense. Another school of thought is that someone — probably an American — randomly put chocolate coffee on a menu as “mocha” one day and the muddled marketing just stuck. Either way, the word is far more rooted in an ancient Yemeni port than it is in chocolate.

Americano

What is it

Espresso mixed with hot water

Trivia trio

  1. It’s that dilution thing again: Like milk’s role in a latte, water serves as the americano’s star in taking the edge off the strong espresso taste. As such, the ratio of water to espresso can vary widely depending on the desired result.
  2. The ‘long black’ difference: A common way to make an Americano is to brew espresso and “just add water.” Some prefer the opposite approach, however: start with water and brew or pour the espresso on top. This drink is referred to as a long black, and its difference chiefly lies in the crema produced by the espresso. When poured last, it is less disturbed or mixed into the drink. Some people prefer this, while others find the crema, while pleasing to look at, adds unnecessary bitterness to the drink and should be removed.   
  3. Made in America? There’s no doubt the name “americano” is a direct connection to America (the word is Italian for “American”). The most popular origin story may be apocryphal, but it’s become widespread: American GIs sent to Italy during and following World War II found the espresso to be too strong. They longed for coffee that tasted more like what they were used to back home, so they added water. Presto, americano!

Next week: “How much should I tip? (And other coffeeshop etiquette)”

This is the seventh in a 10-part series, “Coffee for the Average Josh,” releasing Fridays this fall. Get your fix of Coffee 101 by signing up to receive an email when the next post drops.

Previous:

  1. Where do coffee babies come from? (Oct. 2, 2020)
  2. Growing up on the coffee farm (Oct. 9, 2020)
  3. 3 reasons to pay more for your coffee (Oct. 16, 2020)
  4. 5 factors of great-tasting coffee (Oct. 23, 2020)
  5. How do you take your coffee? (Oct. 30, 2020)
  6. What is espresso? (Nov. 6, 2020)

Crazy coffee orders that were actually placed

August 7, 2020
2

To introduce a new series on coffee literacy called Coffee for the Average Josh, I asked some friends about the craziest coffee orders they’ve ever received.

The responses didn’t necessarily help me discover gaps in what people know about coffee, but they did prove that people have a sense of humor …

“A 24 ounce caramel, creme de menthe, white chocolate powder, butterscotch, English toffee, peppermint and white coffee. He called it the spicy hoppin’ grasshopper with a twist.”

— Anabel, Crush Coffee Bar

“A 16 ounce extra hot latte with 3/4 pumps of Irish cream, 3/4 vanilla, stirred once to the right and three times to the left with whip. The employee said, ‘You’re funny,’ thinking he was joking, but his reply was, ‘I am serious,’ with no smile.”

— Kim Cline, Shotzy’s Coffee

“A 32 ounce ‘blended cappuccino’ (not a thing) with seven pumps of hazelnut, seven pumps of vanilla bean and seven pumps of peppermint. Yikes.”

— Rosa, Bee Kind Coffee

“A quad 20 ounce s’mores mocha. Might not sound that strange except the majority of my customers were medical staff. … You’d think such clientele would have a more cautioned and reasoned approach to sugar and caffeine. Not so much. They did tip well, though.”

— Josh Jensen, Jensen Handcrafted
(Plus former barista and jack of all trades)

“Here is one that our Pines crew received through Uber: 32 ounce caramel; chocolate; dark chocolate; white chocolate; pumpkin; Irish cream; caramel syrup; salted caramel; blue raspberry; banana; with one white, one dark, one ristretto; whip with matcha sprinkled on top of the whip.”

— Christopher Arkoosh, Wake Up Call

“I’ve been doing this for so long nothing can be too weird at this point, but back in the day I used to think the craziest was your typical, ‘I’ll have a 12 ounce hot, but not too hot, 130 degrees, split shot (half decaf, half regular), sugar free vanilla, not a lot of syrup, only half a pump, no foam, Americano, with coconut milk. Make sure and give me about 2 inches of that coconut milk! Oh, and no sleeve but with straws. I want a big straw, not small straws.’ This unfortunately is now a regular thing so I’m used to it.”

— Tasha Branning, The Blissful Whisk

Want to gain a little coffee confidence and enjoy a couple laughs along the way? Follow the “Coffee for the Average Josh” post series by signing up for the free CoffeeJosh newsletter. Other great spots to check out include Instagram or Facebook.

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