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Crazy coffee orders that were actually placed

August 7, 2020
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To introduce a new series on coffee literacy called Coffee for the Average Josh, I asked some friends about the craziest coffee orders they’ve ever received.

The responses didn’t necessarily help me discover gaps in what people know about coffee, but they did prove that people have a sense of humor …

“A 24 ounce caramel, creme de menthe, white chocolate powder, butterscotch, English toffee, peppermint and white coffee. He called it the spicy hoppin’ grasshopper with a twist.”

— Anabel, Crush Coffee Bar


“A 16 ounce extra hot latte with 3/4 pumps of Irish cream, 3/4 vanilla, stirred once to the right and three times to the left with whip. The employee said, ‘You’re funny,’ thinking he was joking, but his reply was, ‘I am serious,’ with no smile.”

— Kim Cline, Shotzy’s Coffee


“A 32 ounce ‘blended cappuccino’ (not a thing) with seven pumps of hazelnut, seven pumps of vanilla bean and seven pumps of peppermint. Yikes.”

— Rosa, Bee Kind Coffee


“A quad 20 ounce s’mores mocha. Might not sound that strange except the majority of my customers were medical staff. … You’d think such clientele would have a more cautioned and reasoned approach to sugar and caffeine. Not so much. They did tip well, though.”

— Josh Jensen, Jensen Handcrafted
(Plus former barista and jack of all trades)


“Here is one that our Pines crew received through Uber: 32 ounce caramel; chocolate; dark chocolate; white chocolate; pumpkin; Irish cream; caramel syrup; salted caramel; blue raspberry; banana; with one white, one dark, one ristretto; whip with matcha sprinkled on top of the whip.”

— Christopher Arkoosh, Wake Up Call


“I’ve been doing this for so long nothing can be too weird at this point, but back in the day I used to think the craziest was your typical, ‘I’ll have a 12 ounce hot, but not too hot, 130 degrees, split shot (half decaf, half regular), sugar free vanilla, not a lot of syrup, only half a pump, no foam, Americano, with coconut milk. Make sure and give me about 2 inches of that coconut milk! Oh, and no sleeve but with straws. I want a big straw, not small straws.’ This unfortunately is now a regular thing so I’m used to it.”

— Tasha Branning, The Blissful Whisk


Want to gain a little coffee confidence and enjoy a couple laughs along the way? Follow the “Coffee for the Average Josh” post series by signing up for the free CoffeeJosh newsletter. Other great spots to check out include Instagram or Facebook.

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My books of the year for 2019

January 1, 2020
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Only since 2017 have I kept track of my reading (thanks, Goodreads). I wish I would have done so for years, as books have influenced my direction and priorities in life in so many ways. As a journalist, I should know better about citing and remembering the source of so much inspiration. 

The best I can do is start today. Following are my favorite books I read this year, with two quick qualifying notes: 1) I don’t often read new releases; this is solely based on books that were completed in 2019. 2) While entertainment value is important to me, my main consideration is listing books that shaped or grew me in some lasting way and/or leave me still thinking about and referencing them for weeks (in some cases, years) to come.  

2019 Book of the Year

“Soul Survivor,” Philip Yancey

I recently saw an interview where Yancey, a journalist known for writing books about deep questions of faith, listed this 2001 book as his favorite of the many he had written. It is part autobiographical, as it tells the story of the impact of 13 mentors who influenced his own life and work. I originally picked it up because I learned he wrote about Fyodor Dostoevsky, the Russian novelist who might find a spot on my own list of 13 (the portrayal in “The Brothers Karamazov” of a wrestling match between intellectual skepticism of faith and innocent sacrificial love had a profound impact on me).

One of my favorite aspects of Yancey’s approach was that he didn’t treat each person like he was writing their Hall of Fame induction speech, but instead showed his appreciation for them through their humanity — warts exposed. I’ve read books about people on pedestals, and they often come off as if building a case for some ideology they represent, which only causes to provide ammunition for a battle line or cement for hardening a particular point of view. In contrast, when I read about real human beings, I can relate, be my imperfect self and find inspiration for growth. Through both the chapters on people I thought I knew well (Martin Luther King Jr., Mahatma Gandhi, Dostoevsky, Shusaku Endo) as well as those I discovered for the first time (Dr. Paul Brand, Dr. Robert Coles and John Perkins inside the chapter on King, among others), I was challenged to think, to care and to grow by this book. It was one of those reads I kept referencing with Kim, and one I would love to go through again with others. 

2019 Honorable Mentions


“Building a Story Brand,” Donald Miller

My new favorite book on marketing, as it teaches you how to harness the power of story. I wish I would have had this book in 2004 when I first started working with small businesses to help them with print advertising. It encapsulates so much of what I’ve had to learn through marketplace experience, but then does such a clear job of providing a language and framework so that the lessons learned are repeatable. If you asked me where to start with clarifying and communicating a message, this is the book I would give you. 

“The World Atlas of Coffee,” James Hoffman

I started coffeejosh.com in 2019 but not because I have a sophisticated palate or years as a barista. You know how some people love music, but can’t play an instrument or hit a note for the life of them? That’s me and coffee shops. I love the environment, the coffee and especially the way the combination of those two things helps me connect with and be inspired by the person sitting across the table from me. In my caff-ascination, I’ve read a handful of books about coffee in recent years (and started and cast aside a couple others). This was by far my favorite. It teaches basics like discriminating between a flat white and a latte, but it also has fascinating random facts like how Haiti produced more than half of the world’s coffee from 1750-1788. If you’re a nerd like me and are interested to learn the difference between Sumatra and Sidamo, then this is my favorite comprehensive coffee resource that I’ve found. 

“The Road Back to You,” Ian Morgan Cron

Ah, the Enneagram. When I started talking with friends about my new favorite personality discovery tool this year, people often fired back with one of two worries. One, that I might be feeding a culture of navel-gazing, and, two, that the Enneagram was just another weapon used by bullies to typecast people. When used properly, neither is true. The same summer we celebrated 20 years of marriage, Kim and I read this book together. We didn’t discover a ton of new things about one another, but we were given an incredible gift: a framework through which we better understood the things we already knew, and a greater acceptance of the incredible way each of us is wired. “Is this why you often do that one thing I’ve never really understood?” was a common theme from our conversations from the book. If you use this tool to better understand yourself in order to better love others, then that’s a tool put to proper use.  (For more on my 2019 Enneadventures, read here.)

“A Long Obedience in the Same Direction,” Eugene Peterson

This is the rare Christian book that gets its title from Nietzsche, who wrote, “The essential thing ‘in heaven and earth’ is … that there should be a long obedience in the same direction; that thereby results, and has always resulted in the long run, something which has made life worth living.” Peterson argues that in our “instant society,” this doesn’t typically happen, but it should. Using the “Songs of Ascent” (Psalms 120-134), the songs of pilgrims on the road to Jerusalem to celebrate Jewish festivals, he talks about what it looks like to be both a pilgrim (someone on a journey to a particular place) and a disciple (someone who is an apprentice craftsman always picking up skills for a particular purpose). I’ve wasted a lot of life like living out the “Alice in Wonderland” scene author Lewis Carroll famously capsulizes as, “If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will get you there.” For anyone sick of society’s rat race and considering what the pathway of following Jesus looks like, this is a life-giving read that provides equal parts purpose and rest and meaning. 

Past Winners

I wish I would have done this in years’ past, but here are four others I read in the 2010s that would have taken the title in years gone by:

“Garden City,” John Mark Comer
(read in 2018)

The subtitle says it all: “Work, Rest and the Art of Being Human.” After this book, Kim and I started incorporating Sabbath into our lives. We’re not doing it anywhere near perfectly, but I love every imperfect ounce of what we have begun.

“Soul Keeping,” John Ortberg
(read in 2015)

I’ve had two major career changes in 20 years. The first is when I bought a community newspaper in 2004. The second is when I left newspaper ownership in January 2016. Newspapering is a tough industry, but leaving was never about that. This book — about being healthy in our deepest places — was the final push that caused me to make an important life change.

“A Million Miles in a Thousand Years,” Donald Miller
(read early last decade)

This book set the table for some of the changes that would come later (referenced in the entry above). It’s about living a more purposeful and more adventurous story. As Larry the Cucumber might say, “I laughed. I cried. It moved me, Bob.”

Harry Potter series, J.K. Rowling
(read throughout decade)

I read these first with my daughter, and then I reread them two more times, often late into the night even though I knew what happened. I initially avoided Harry Potter because I’ve never had a shred of interest (amidst a healthy dose of disinclination) toward witches and wizards, but I finally came around. These are stories about friendship, sacrifice and courage in the face of evil, and they are absolutely charming and funny and engaging and brilliant. 

What should I read next?

OK, time to create my reading list for 2020. What books have impacted your life recently? Please share suggestions in the comments below or send them to me at josh@coffeejosh.com.


While you’re here, would you do me a favor?

If you enjoy articles like this one, join the CoffeeJosh mailing list. It’s hurry-free, spam-free and also free … free. As a thanks, I’ll send you a PDF — you guessed it, free — that has 10 of the best coffee shop orders in the Spokane area. (All 10 are drinks and treats local coffee shop owners make for themselves. In this case, expect to pay for your order and feel like it was totally worth it.)

Should you tip at coffee shops?

November 20, 2020
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And other questions of coffee shop etiquette

<Coffee for the Average Josh, Part 8 of 10>

A 2019 survey by creditcards.com found that 24 percent of Americans always tip their coffee shop baristas, while 27 percent never do.

That leaves roughly half of us stuck in the land of “it depends.”

Looking for clarity when you step up to the counter?  Let’s explore:

  • Reasons you should consider leaving a tip
  • Reasons you may feel compelled to leave a tip, but really shouldn’t
  • Best practices for how much to tip
  • And a few other shots of coffee shop etiquette

8 good reasons to tip for your coffee

  1. Service: Sometimes you receive incredible service, but sometimes … not. Do you leave the shop feeling well taken care of? Tipping is a way to say thanks.
  2. Craftsmanship: More often than not, the best cups of coffee are directly tied to a barista’s experience, skill and knowledge. When you receive beautiful latte art. When you learn something new. When you find the barista who always wows you with that cappuccino. Coffee craftsmanship adds value.
  3. Quantity: Sometimes you order a small cup of drip coffee, but sometimes you’re picking up for the whole office. It takes a lot of skill to make multiple drinks at once, particularly if a line starts piling up behind you.
  4. Customization: Do you order straight off the menu, or do you have special requests for your drink? It’s kind to make it worth the barista’s extra time and understanding when they go out of their way to meet the specs of a special request.
  5. Duration of stay: Do you love to park at a table for a couple hours and get some work done? That’s great, but you’re also using space that could turn away additional customers if a shop is full, not to mention the wi-fi and other utilities owners pay to keep you comfortable. Show that you appreciate this access to a “second office.”
  6. Vibe: Some shops just feel comfortable. Some invest heavily not just in your coffee but in your experience. If the place has a magnetic effect on your soul, a tip is one good way to express gratitude.
  7. Regularity: If you’re a regular, chances are you’re not only investing in a favorite shop, but they’re investing in you. They know your name, your order and the vehicle you drive. Try getting that level of relational service anywhere else.
  8. Support: I am grateful for baristas. It’s a line of work where excellence can clearly be tasted. But the average wages aren’t typically enough of a carrot for baristas to invest in the job as a career. These are also human beings who work a busy job and have bad days like everyone else. A tip doesn’t have to only be a statement of gratitude, it can also be a statement of support.

2 bad reasons to tip for your coffee

  1. Prompt pressure: These days, if you swipe a card, you can expect the screen to swivel and tip options to be presented — typically $1, $2, $3 or 10%, 15%, 20%. There are also typically buttons for “no tip” and “custom tip.” For me, prompts take part of the joy out of tipping because I’m being asked to do something I already wanted to do — but without being asked. They also usually suggest preset amounts, making it potentially clunky or awkward to change the amount that was preset — even if you wanted to tip more. If you are feeling bullied by a screen prompt, pause and take the time to leave the tip you want to leave. There’s no harm in it.  
  2. Peer pressure: Things get trickier when people are watching. And they often are, whether standing in line behind you or making your coffee. In fact, because of COVID restrictions, baristas are often put in the awkward position of asking for their own tip and inputting the amount for you. Anymore, when I want to leave a tip I often mention it when I’m taking out my credit card, something like, “How may I add a $1 tip on this?” To me, it relieves the tension. But what do you do if you are just grabbing a drip coffee to go and don’t want to be prompted about a $1 tip on a $2 drink? Press, “no tip,” and don’t feel bad about it. If you’re asked about tip options, just say, “no, thank you.” There are plenty of great reasons you may want to leave a tip, but peer pressure isn’t one of them.

How much should you tip for your coffee?

From a straight etiquette standpoint, the Emily Post Institute groups coffee shops in the “no obligation” category. Like carryout, tipping is discretionary but warranted if a “barista provides a little something extra or if you are a regular customer.”

In an informal poll of people I know who love coffee, a common rule of thumb is it’s generous to tip $1 per drink, but perfectly acceptable to tip change from a small transaction or calculate out a percentage you’re comfortable with.

If you use percentages, the ranges can swing much more wildly than they might at a dine-in restaurant. For instance, $1 on a $3 small latte is a whopping 33 percent tip, while dropping a couple quarters’ change in a tip jar on a $10 order is only 5 percent. But neither is an unusual occurrence.

Hence the word “discretionary.” Consider the good reasons to tip. Consider your own financial situation. And remember: Generosity is good for the soul.  

Other coffee shop etiquette

I asked a few coffee friends for other pieces of etiquette people should keep in mind when visiting their shops, and here are three final things worth noting.

  1. Don’t talk on your cell phone while ordering. That one feels like it should be a common courtesy, but we humans tend to have a way of self-justifying behavior in a moment that we may have criticized if we saw it elsewhere.
  2. Don’t set up an oblivious office. Working out of a coffee shop is great, but be self-aware. As a friend who owns a coffee shop told me, “one person spreading out work on a four-top table is pretty rough for us — especially now that we’re in a pandemic and at half occupancy.”
  3. Don’t ask a shop to bend to your own tastes. No, I don’t mean you can’t order what you want. What I mean is that the person who owns the shop invested a lot of their own passions and personality in picking out the décor, choosing the setlist, and selecting the recipes. As a friend put it, “I would love if people would allow the business to thrive as it is and not as they wish it was. So many businesses do the same thing as everyone else because they felt they could not succeed if they didn’t compromise their original vision to appease people.” Local coffee shops offer a uniqueness worth celebrating.

Next week: “Black Friday: Give the gift of a local coffee roast”

This is the eighth in a 10-part series, “Coffee for the Average Josh,” releasing Fridays this fall. Get your fix of Coffee 101 by signing up to receive an email when the next post drops.

Previous:

  1. Where do coffee babies come from? (Oct. 2, 2020)
  2. Growing up on the coffee farm (Oct. 9, 2020)
  3. 3 reasons to pay more for your coffee (Oct. 16, 2020)
  4. 5 factors of great-tasting coffee (Oct. 23, 2020)
  5. How do you take your coffee? (Oct. 30, 2020)
  6. What is espresso? (Nov. 6, 2020)
  7. What’s the difference: cappuccino, latte, mocha, americano? (Nov. 13, 2020)
1 Comment
    Dave Perry says: Reply
    September 11th 2020, 8:32 am

    I think I want to try all of them.

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