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Joe, Mike and the best advice in the Galaxy*

December 26, 2019
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*Galaxy Grind, 12402 E. Saltese Road

On Wednesdays, Mike and Joe confront Earth’s cosmic challenges at a Galaxy Grind not very far, far away.

What’s wrong, Chewbacca? Not able to make that jump to hyperbole? Fine. Here’s how Mike puts it: “We meet for coffee and cream cheese cinnamon rolls and try to solve the world’s problems.” (The coffee shop is walking distance from Mike’s house, though, so there’s that.)

While the pair may not be going head to head with the Galactic Empire, from the moment I learned about their weekly coffees, I was angling for an invite.

Mike Vlahovich, 75, and Joe Connor, 71, are longtime friends and Spokane legends in their own right. Mike spent more than five decades covering local sports (the first half when his father, John, owned the Spokane Valley Herald), and he is a member of the Inland Northwest Sports Hall of Fame’s Scroll of Honor. Joe spent decades running a successful independent insurance agency in Spokane. A Gonzaga graduate, he is a season ticket holder for men’s basketball games. (The same day I crashed their coffee get-together, they reconvened in the evening with their wives to watch Gonzaga dismantle North Carolina at the Kennel.)

For two hours, we talked politics, life lessons and why Joe believes this year’s Zags are better than last year’s version — a sentiment he’s held since before the season began. I still can’t fathom that last point, but much of what we discussed is still inspiring me these days later. So while the best advice in the Galaxy (Grind) should include trying the cinnamon rolls, here are four even more important gems I hope to carry with me into 2020, courtesy of a conversation with my own version of Obi-Wan and Yoda.

  • Joe Connor, left, and Mike Vlahovich meet weekly at Galaxy Grind in Spokane Valley.

The love of money is the root of all kinds of … generosity?

Joe lists many reasons that drove him to a career as an independent insurance agent, but two are particularly to the point: 1. “I don’t like working for people.” 2. “I like money.”

The former reflects the values of many entrepreneurs who want to reap the rewards (and/or any other related consequences) of their own efforts. The money thing, though? Joe and Mike are lifelong Catholics. I’ve spent most of my life in nondenominational Protestant churches. Some version of 1 Timothy 6:10 rings familiar: “The love of money is the root of all kinds of evil.”

“People don’t understand how money is; people think it gives them power and stuff like that,” Joe explained. “I don’t see it that way. It’s like you are a steward, and you have to go back in and help other people out. … It’s the opportunity to help people.”

(Money) is the opportunity to help people.

Joe Connor

As with most things, it’s the misuse and abuse of money that is the problem. You have to avoid the grip of greed.

“Like my dad used to say, ‘You can’t spend your way to prosperity,’” Mike said.

You can, however, give your way into a prosperity of a whole different kind.

Be yourself – the ‘yourself’ that has a plan

Whenever Joe encounters a young person — from neighbors and friends to the stranger taking his restaurant order — he invariably turns the topic to education and asks, “Where are you going to college?”

“You don’t ask a kid, ‘Are you going to college?’ You ask, ‘Where are you going to college?’” Joe smiled. “Assume the sale.”

He explains it’s a process of leading them through questions to embrace a direction for themselves.

“Have a plan,” Joe said. “I think that’s really, really important. The questions that I ask are all intended to … try to get them to think for themselves. What are you going to do? Open ended questions like that help them become the best that they can be.”

It doesn’t have to be a four-year business degree from Gonzaga, it just has to be a plan that honors – and maximizes — one’s own God-given abilities, Joe and Mike explained.

“Everybody is successful if they do the best they can with what they have been given,” Mike said.

A value system serves as a great compass

Before Mike had even declared his major in journalism at Washington State University, he was surprised to be offered the job as sports editor of the Daily Evergreen. Little did he know, another tempting offer was right around the corner from legendary basketball coach Jud Heathcote, who Mike knew from West Valley High School.

“Jud Heathcote calls up and says, ‘Do you want to be the manager on the Cougar basketball team,’” Mike recalled. “It was like the next day after I had committed to (The Daily Evergreen), but I was already committed so I went that way.”

Not only did Mike not seem to regret the choice he made, he talks about the episode with an aura of unblinking clarity: Reneging on his first commitment was never even an option.

“The lesson here is something that’s really important to us, I think: You’ve given your word,” Joe added. “There are times when you’ve given your word and you see, ‘Oh, I think I might have made a mistake.’ You still have to go through with it, and that’s a value system.”

Both Mike and Joe credit family and their Catholic upbringing with instilling the type of value system that serves as an anchor for life, for success and – you knew it was coming back to this – for Gonzaga basketball.

That’s right, Joe is convinced the success of Gonzaga basketball is rooted deep within the Jesuit tradition. He would know. He played for legendary Gonzaga coach Dan Fitzgerald in eighth grade while attending a private Catholic school in San Francisco. Joe also played on the Gonzaga freshman basketball team in 1966. As much as he loves Coach Fitzgerald (who would end up at Gonzaga much later), he believes the enduring success at Gonzaga is more about the school’s Jesuit values than the various GU personalities with accomplished resumes.

“The value systems they had back then are the same value systems they have now,” Joe said. “(The university) has grown and expanded, but the value systems haven’t changed. … We have a core that’s consistent that does not change year after year after year. … That’s why GU is doing so well.”

Don’t shine the spotlight on yourself

Mike spent five decades as a prep sportswriter in the same community. While many sportswriters may dream of working the sideline of a Super Bowl, Mike has found greater fulfillment in celebrating his neighbors. He has spent the equivalent of years of his life at local high schools — walking hallways, visiting practices and pacing sidelines with a notebook in hand. Many area scrapbooks are filled with stories and photos with Mike’s byline, and he is always ready with a story of the joy he has found in celebrating the accomplishments of other people.  

It wasn’t just his job; Mike found ways to encourage others through the years through coaching youth sports and volunteering with schools, a passion Joe shared as well. Both Mike and Joe believe strongly in mentorship (it’s probably why they let me tag along on this particular Wednesday). They are consistently on the lookout for opportunities. In fact, Mike begins a new mentor relationship in January, when he will weekly share lunch with an Opportunity Elementary School student through the PrimeTime Mentoring program. It’s an apt setting, across the street from the first home he purchased in the Valley decades ago.

Maybe this is what Mike really meant by “solving the world’s problems.” It’s not as much about making a political point over coffee; it’s about investing in another person, one at a time.

Coffee Notes

Mike and Joe order the same thing at Galaxy Grind every time they meet: cinnamon rolls and mochas, though Joe takes his hot while Mike likes his iced (even in December). The two regulars have become part of the fabric of the local Valley business, where they know the staff by name and are on the Christmas card list.

  • Thanks to Joe and Mike for allowing a third wheel at their weekly coffee visit.
    The community is better for presence of men (and mentors) like these two.
    — Josh Johnson (soccer jersey: Celtic FC)

While you’re here, would you do me a favor?

If you enjoy articles like this one, join the CoffeeJosh mailing list. It’s hurry-free, spam-free and also free … free. As a thanks, I’ll send you a PDF — you guessed it, free — that has 10 of the best coffee shop orders in the Spokane area. (All 10 are drinks and treats local coffee shop owners make for themselves. In this case, expect to pay for your order and feel like it was totally worth it.)

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2019: Year of Positivity … and brain cancer

November 28, 2019
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On New Year’s Day 2019, Scott Hendricks resolved to be more positive. That was before the kidney stone, the stroke and the grand mal seizures. Before doctors found the brain tumor. Before the brain surgery he was kept awake for. Before the chemo. Before the radiation.

That was before two weeks ago, when the MRI showed no change. Before the chemo started up again.

Even so, as Scott described his 2019, sitting on the sofa at Cozy Coffee a week out from Thanksgiving, he was overflowing with gratitude. He was cracking jokes and testifying to miracles. He was raving about the breakfast wrap.

He was, in a word: positive.

• • •

Scott entered 2019 dissatisfied with several aspects of his life — his weight, his perspective at work, the impact negativity was having on his wife and two daughters.

So he resolved to be more positive, and the results were profound. With the help of Weight Watchers, he was down 60 pounds by July. Along the way, friends, family and coworkers remarked about his infectious, positive perspective.

  • Scott, Tori and their two girls sporting Brain Tumor Awareness bracelets at the Spokane River. The bracelets read: “Hope, Courage, Faith.”

He looked for the humor on May 9, when he drove himself to the hospital with terrible pain in his side. As a nurse wheeled him back for his CT scan, she remarked on the likelihood of a kidney stone.

“It’s either that or a 67-pound tumor, and if you take it out I’ll make my goal weight,” he jested.

The kidney stone was too big to pass and had to be removed surgically. He didn’t realize it at the time, but a far more serious surgery loomed.

• • •

In hindsight, the signs were there. Waking up at 2 a.m. in April from a sleep in which he bit a chunk out of his tongue. A mild seizure at work in May. Scott sees it as providence, God preparing him and his wife, Tori, for the camping trip in June when she woke up to him having a grand mal seizure.

By the time Scott woke up, the paramedics had arrived. A CT scan at a hospital in Newport showed a mass on his brain.

With all the tests to run and information to process, doctors spent nearly a month weighing the best course of action with Scott and his family. In the end, they decided on an awake craniotomy to remove the grade 2 astrocytoma tumor. The doctor explained the surgery: He would remove as much of the tumor as possible, and then he would wake Scott up so the medical team could monitor his movements, test his speech, and use his responses in order to most safely remove even more cancer.

With a theme of positivity and surrounded by the strength of Tori, their two daughters and his extended family, Scott went in for surgery July 17. While the majority of the tumor was removed, surgeons were unable to remove parts too closely enmeshed with optic nerves and vital brain functions. What’s more, Scott suffered a stroke during the surgery, and the doctor seemed amazed Scott was able to be up and talking, retaining his movement and faculties. All told, he spent only three days in the hospital.

• • •

Scott’s resolution to remain positive was consistently tested. As he recovered from surgery and faced the uncertainty of starting chemo and radiation, he also developed shoulder pain. Not for the first time, he struggled to sleep.

A Seattle visit with renowned natural health doctor and traumatic brain injury specialist Antoine Chevalier helped him to better understand the impact of negative thoughts and anger on his healing. Before he left town, his shoulder pain was gone.

The lessons helped him remain upbeat during his radiation at Cancer Care Northwest. With treatments five days a week for six weeks, he built relationships with the staff and fellow patients.

“The techs were so awesome,” Scott said, recalling great lengths they went to in order to make the experience as comfortable as possible. In typical fashion, he kept them on their toes, noting he was losing his hair in the areas where the radiation was focused. “And I was like, ‘My wife was wondering if you could target more around my nose.’”

The treatments typically moved like clockwork, but on one occasion he arrived to find a tense waiting room with appointments running 90 minutes behind schedule. Tapping into the power of positivity, he made it his mission to keep his mood up, and “that progressed into one of the most fun days, and that whole room was laughing.” Scott said while he may have got the ball rolling, soon multiple patients were laughing and joking with one another. One woman spit out her coffee. The hysteria attracted the attention of curious office workers.

“I had workers coming up to me weeks later saying, ‘We just want to thank you for that day that you helped that room make such a turn,’” he said.

• • •

Maybe the hardest part of being positive is simultaneously also being real. While he is focused on being upbeat, Scott isn’t interested in masking the facts about the cancer he is facing. In his mind, he pictures two railcars moving simultaneously down the tracks of his life. In one, Scott said he places thoughts true to his reality but that do him no good to dwell on: He could have a stroke; he could lose mobility; he could die.

“But I didn’t want to focus on (those things), and so I needed to separate it somehow,” he said.

Enter the other railcar, where he places the thoughts he can be positive about: That the tumor was finally discovered through his seizure; the faith he has in his doctors; the amazing support of his family, friends and coworkers at Collins Aerospace, where he has worked for 17 years.

“It’s clear and bright (on the positive side), so that’s what I choose to look at,” he said. “God’s with me and protecting me, and whether it’s His time to take me, it’s His plan.”

It’s clear and bright (on the positive side), so that’s what I choose to look at.

Scott Hendricks

When there was no change to his tumor after his recent MRI, Scott knew it would be a letdown to his family and friends who want to be able to use the word, “cured.”

“But my doctor told me, ‘for you, we can never say cancer free, because the best we can say is no evidence; you will be cured when you die,’” Scott said.

A lot of uncertainty remains. The tumor could become more aggressive — or the 42-year-old could make another lifetime’s worth of memories. For now, the tumor is still evident. Scott has started a new round of chemotherapy that will be followed by another MRI. The results of that test will determine the next steps.

“It doesn’t matter what (the MRI) shows, what matters is how I live today, that I’m alive today,” Scott said. “In that sense, the MRI isn’t really relevant to me. It’s something I want to pay attention to because I want to take care of myself, but the MRI is going to show what it’s going to show. I was walking around with a tumor for years, and I didn’t know it. But it was June when I was going to find out about it, and God started preparing me in January.”

Of that, he is absolutely positive.

Coffee Notes

Scott and I met for this conversation at Cozy Coffee, 514 N. Barker Road, Spokane Valley. Scott recommends the breakfast wrap (the burrito is also good, but go for the wrap because it includes fresh veggies). One of many reasons I like Cozy Coffee is the afternoon/evening hours (open until 7 p.m.), when it can be more difficult to find a coffee meeting location.

  • Scott Hendricks has been inspiring me for years with his positive, encouraging spirit and great sense of humor. Here we are Nov. 22 at Cozy Coffee. Thanks, Scott, for being my friend. — Josh Johnson (soccer jersey: Brisbane Roar)

While you’re here, would you do me a favor?

If you enjoy articles like this one, join the CoffeeJosh mailing list. It’s hurry-free, spam-free and also free … free. As a thanks, I’ll send you a PDF — you guessed it, free — that has 10 of the best coffee shop orders in the Spokane area. (All 10 are drinks and treats local coffee shop owners make for themselves. In this case, expect to pay for your order and feel like it was totally worth it.)

Can’t keep up the pace? Hope amidst burnout

February 20, 2020
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Isaac Hebden is a runner, but I’m his friend anyway.

The other day he told me this terrible story about a time he ran 12 miles in an unfamiliar neighborhood and decided it wasn’t far enough, so he swerved off his planned route with the intention of cutting back over to the area where his final destination waited.

When his new path didn’t allow for a cutback route, he just kept plodding away in the wrong direction, mile after mile. And you know what he finally did when he got tired enough? He stopped and called his wife to come bail him out.

  • Dr. Isaac Hebden at The Garden Coffee & Local Eats

I don’t know what it would be like to ever run that far, but I have a lot of experience traveling stubbornly in the wrong direction and hoping no one would notice I’m looking more and more ragged with each passing landmark.

Out of gas.

Out of water.

About to collapse.

Looking for any option other than admitting my need to be rescued …

• • •

Isaac Hebden is a pastor, and he’s a friend to people like me anyway.

Actually, he’s got a soft spot for the choose-your-own-adventure type. He’s traveled those roads himself.

Isaac likes a story told by Jesus about a young man who passionately pursued everything he wanted from life and ended up broke and desperate. And then Jesus delivers this epic line about what ended up being the turning point for this guy: “When he finally came to his senses.”

This guy is best known as the Prodigal Son (not to be confused with the crime drama Mondays on FOX), and I can relate to him. A few years back I was doing the whole have-and-eat cakewalk. I worked crazy hours trying to tame a beast of a business that was actually slaying me. Along the way, I kept believing I could be a first-rate husband, father and friend without changing a thing about my life. What I was really doing was running scared in the wrong direction, lying to myself that my lucky break was just around the bend.

Can you relate? Ever come up with a recipe for Awesome Sauce that ended up tasting like Awful Sauce — and served it anyway? Ever realized you’re at the end of your rope — and kept reaching anyway? Ever been exposed and made up a face-saving narrative — what’s the point of vulnerability, anyway?

Isaac was one of the people who helped me with that whole “finally come to my senses” thing. It was good to have friends nearby, because let’s be honest: This is brutal.

“There is a moment where you have an awakening where you realize, ‘I’m not the person I thought I was, and I can either do something about it or put my head down and keep running,’” Isaac said. “How many people put their head down and keep running because it’s painful to look around and say, ‘Have I been on the wrong road all along?’ Who wants to do that?”

If you find yourself at such a crossroads, may the good Lord give you a friend like Isaac, someone who has been there, done that, and lived to write 48,000 words about it.

• • •

Isaac Hebden is a doctor, but for now he has agreed to be my friend anyway.

All those words were for a dissertation he wrote last year en route to achieving his doctoral status. The dissertation examined the prominence of pastoral burnout and strategies toward a more holistic, emotionally healthy approach.

For Isaac, it was a timely project, seeing as how the longtime associate pastor at his Spokane Valley church, The Intersection, was recently named the new lead pastor.

That’s not to say the conclusions he reached are only for pastors. After all, the symptoms he was describing — emotional fatigue, disillusionment, exhaustion, self-deception — cross vocational lines. Isaac said the solutions, while drawn from the life and teachings of Jesus of Nazareth, work both inside and outside the church.

“We just believe that the principles Jesus lives by and teaches will make your life better, so if you don’t even believe in Jesus, try the principles and see if it works,” he said.

• • •

Isaac Hebden is a human being, and that’s more important than his resume.

Yes, he can run for days, pastors a church and has earned a doctorate, but his research — and his experience — has taught him that Jesus didn’t accomplish all kinds of things in order to form his identity, but the other way around.

“Jesus was clear on his purpose and his identity, and out of that he was able to do things of significance, and from there it was fruitful,” Isaac said. “We try to make fruit and then become significant. … We do things in order to be accepted, and so it’s backwards.”

So how do we find peace in our own skin without having to put on another exhausting show for acceptance? Isaac encourages people to go on a journey of building self-awareness and implementing practices of “being.”

Whether you follow Jesus or not, tools like the Enneagram can help you better understand your makeup and lead you on a pathway to more holistic health, Isaac suggested, adding that self-awareness is aided by community and humility.

Isaac recommends surrounding yourself with people who will tell you the truth in love, and then actually listening to them instead of playing the role of defense attorney.

“There is a required amount of humility that one has to have (for) self-awareness,” he said. “Those people who do not ask for help and don’t want to be in community, who aren’t willing to listen, they will end up in trouble.”

After vulnerability paves the road for greater self-awareness, Jesus modeled a set of practices that are more about personal growth than showy accomplishments. Examples include celebration, community and quiet solitude, among others. He said that last one is particularly rare in our plugged-in, distraction-rich culture. Contrary to popular opinion, you don’t have to be a monk to practice solitude. Isaac said even successful CEOs are known to start their day in stillness and quiet.

“Silence reminds me that I’m not in control, that there are other things beyond me,” he said. “What is devalued unintentionally (by our culture) is the idea of being. … So to just sit and not do anything is so counterintuitive to what we think is beneficial, but perhaps it’s the most beneficial 15 minutes of the day.”

Whether it’s embracing the quiet, a heartfelt visit with a friend or pausing to celebrate, the theme of many Jesus practices is simply slowing down. Isaac said this helps people feel more integrated, more whole, more healthy.

“The best that I can bring into any situation is the healthiest me, which requires some self-reflection,” he said.

One good thing about “finally coming to your senses”? The “doing” path is shown for what it really is — exhausting, unhealthy and ultimately unfulfilling.

“Everybody has some specific identity; every person has intrinsic value,” he said. “The difficulty for each person is to get off the treadmill, look around and see who you really are.”

Connect with Isaac Hebden at The Intersection Church, 905 N. McDonald Road in Spokane Valley or reach him at ihebden@theintersection.info.

Coffee Notes

Isaac and I met for this conversation at The Garden Café & Local Eats in Spokane Valley. Isaac’s go-to order is an Americano. Before I realized Isaac had secretly arranged to put my order on his tab, I went for an oat milk latte and — why not? — a bowl of chicken tortilla soup. Man, it was delicious. Thanks, bro!

  • Thanks for the coffee, the soup and for letting me read your dissertation, glimpses of which I recognized from the many times you have spoken into my life over 25-plus years of friendship. I’m blessed.
    — Josh Johnson (soccer jersey: Tooro United F.C. of the Uganda Premier League)

While you’re here, would you do me a favor?

If you enjoy articles like this one, join the CoffeeJosh mailing list. It’s hurry-free, spam-free and also free … free. As a thanks, I’ll send you a PDF — you guessed it, free — that has 10 of the best coffee shop orders in the Spokane area. (All 10 are drinks and treats local coffee shop owners make for themselves. In this case, expect to pay for your order and feel like it was totally worth it.)

1 Comment
    Rob Hartman says: Reply
    December 31st 2019, 8:59 am

    Inspiring. Thank you for what you have done and continue to do for our community, Mike and Joe!

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